Music Composed by Steve Jablonsky
Rating: *

Say what you will about Michael Bay’s films, but up until a certain point they have had entertaining scores. Maybe the music wasn’t of the finest film score grade, but at least it was fun, jolt-to-the-pant-seat fun to listen to. There were some redeeming qualities to be found, whether it was the smorgasbord of churning synth rythms or a kick ass theme screamed out by e-guitar. Bad Boys, The Rock, Armageddon, all fit the bill. Something happened with Bay’s Bad Boys 2, though. The music went from entertainingly cheesy to downright… Sucky. Mindless noise replaced real themes, musical hooks, and the fun! The Island, by Steve Jablonsky, continues this sorry trend of numb, lifeless babble, making the irony of yearning for something like The Rock all the more disturbing.

Granted, The Island has something Bad Boys 2 didn’t have. No, it’s not good looks. It’s a theme. Spot it as it is in “The Island Awaits You” (well, maybe it’s more of an idea - but we’re trying here, people) and later massaged into love-theme-mode in “This Tongue Thing’s Amazing”. It’s a pleasant idea, er, theme for electric guitar, muted choir, synth brass and a thick stew of percussion which slowly rises and builds to your run-of-the-mill Media Ventures power chord. We’re getting somewhere. All seems well and good, and when this idea is on display, the score seems, well, like it might be decent.

Steve Jablonsky

All is well and good, that is, until the rest of the score plays out. What a disaster. The action and suspense cues sacrifice melody for an endless loop of electronic ideas that never satisfy, adding up to a stale cheese of noise. Mindless propulsion is the name of the game. You’d get the same effect from fifty minutes of a car engine revving, and it would be just as musical. Even when an idea seems like it might go somewhere, like the opening to “Sector 6″, the cue lurches through a cycle of minor ideas before finally finishing with some substance. “Starkweather” is straight out of the Trevor Rabin Enemy of The State playbook of thumping grunge and distortion, supposedly serving as a character leitmotif! The album reaches its nadir with “Mass Vehicular Carnage”, where spoken hip-hop vocals(!) tread over a bland bass groove.

By now you get the idea - we’re not recommending this album. Sure, it’s well-recorded… And the main theme, er, idea is servicable. But otherwise, the majority of the score is banal and instantly forgettable. It’s amazing what a reviewer will do to write an adequate review - sit through The Island more than a few times! Jablonsky is clearly capable of better, as evidenced by his playful, if derivative, score for the animated Steamboy. Check that out instead of this. Besides, do you really need to hear another in the long line of lifeless variations (”My Name is Lincoln”) on “Now We Are Free” from Gladiator? Please, let us be free!

Music Composed by Steve Jablonsky; Conducted by Blake Neely; Orchestrated by Bruce Fowler, Y. Suzette Moriarty, Lad McIntosh, Rick Giovinazzo, Elizabeth Finch; Recorded and Mixed by Alan Meyerson; Produced by Steve Jablonsky and Hans Zimmer; Availability: In print; Label (Catalogue): Milan Records, (M2-36132); Release Date: July 26, 2005

01. The Island Awaits You (2:21)
02. Where Do These Tubes Go? (2:06)
03. Sector 6 (2:49)
04. Starkweather (4:12)
05. Agnate Ukuleles (2:37)
06. You Have A Special Purpose In Life (4:35)
07. Mass Vehicular Carnage (2:25)
08. Renovation (4:12)
09. I’m Not Ready To Die (2:32)
10. This Tongue Thing’s Amazing (4:29)
11. Mass Winnings (5:07)
12. The Craziest Mess I’ve Ever Seen (5:07)
13. Send In The Clones (4:30)
14. My Name Is Lincoln - Performed by The Prom Kings (3:42)

Total Playing Time: 50′44